Q: why never tell secrets on a farm ?
A: Because the corn have ears the potatoes have eyes.

Q: There are 5 fish in a bowl and 3 of them drown, how many fish are left?
A: 5!!! Fish can't drown !!

Q: How do you get thirty cents with two coins and one of them is not a nickel?
A: A quarter and a nickel, ONE of them isn't a nickel. GET IT!!!!!!!

Q: What did the fire fighter name his two children?
A: Hose-A and Hose-B

Q: 2 fish were swimming in a tank, one fish turned into
    26 little fish. What happened to the fish?
A: It had babies and died after.

Q. what's black and white and has 8 wheels
A. A zebra on roller blades.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a millipede?
A: A walkie-talkie!

Q: What flower grows between your nose and your chin?
A: A tulip!

Q: Why did the kid eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Q: Why did the dinasuar cross the road?
A: it was the chickens day off!

Q: President Clinton went to visit a fourth grade class. "Do you know how to spell my name?" he asked one girl. "no" the girl answered. "But if you ask the teacher, she'll help you!

One day Mrs. J was asking the kids to say the alphabet. Jeremy raised his hand to go to the washroom but she said hands down. She asked Jeremy to sing the alphabet. He said okay though he was a little nervous. He sang A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y and Z. Mrs. J said where's the pee? Jeremy answers its dripping down my leg!

Q: why did the man put his money in the freezer ?
A: he wanted cold hard cash.

Q: What is the longest word in the world ?
A: SMILES because it has a mile between it

Q: how do you spell cat backwards
A: c-a-t-b-a-c-k-w-r-d-s

Q: There is a hole 4ft. wide and 5ft. deep. how much dirt is in the hole?
A: None, because it is a HOLE!!!

Q - What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A - a towel

A macho man walks into an airport. the line was so long that he decided to go to the front desk. when he got there he asked the lady if he could get his tickets any faster. The lady said "sorry, sir but you will have to wait in line". the man angrily replied "do you know who I am?". the lady kept her cool, turned on the speaker and said, "there is a bulky man who apparently doesn't know who he is. if this man belongs to you please pick him up at the front desk, thank you, and have a great day."

Q: what do you give a sick lemon?
A: Lemonade

Joke: When does your nose get red?
Answer: When you take Rudolph's place!!

Q: WHAT DID THE CAT GET FOR WALKING ON THE BEACH?
A: SANDY CLAWS.

1. Q: What ride do the ghosts want in the Amusement park?
A: Roller ghoster

2. Q: What Cafe do the birdies drink?
A: Nestcafe

Knock-Knock
Who's There?
Wyona
Wyona Who?
Why own a doorbell if everyone keeps knocking?

Q: What animal hats to do laundry?
A: A leopard because it has lots of spots

Q: Why does a rhino have lots of wrinkles?
A: Because it's hard to iron

Q: Why do eggs not tell jokes
A: Because they crack each other up

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: Just incase he got a hole-in-one

Q. what do you call a mailman who is fat
A. a fatman

Q: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
A: ????

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill.

Q: What five letter word becomes shorter after adding two letters to it?
A: Short

Q: What will you be giving if you gave someone a bottomless container that holds flesh and blood?
A: A ring

Q: If you were in a room with no doors or windows and a mirror and chair, how would you get out?
A: You look in the mirror, see what you saw, take the saw, cut the chair in half, two halves make a whole, you jump in the hole and you're out.

Q: What is black and white and has red spots?
A: A zebra with the chicken pocks!!!

Q: If Mrs. Sippi gave Miss Souri a New Jersey... What would Delaware???
A: Idaho Alaska (I don't know I'll ask her)

Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Something smells between us.

Q:What did the lady say when she opened a box of cherrio?
A; mmmm donut seeds..

Q:why did the golfer were two pairs of pants?
A:in case he got a hole in one.

Q: Why did the cop bring a blanket to work?
A: In case he had to go under cover!